Decision Making Made Easy!
This week I have been coaching a client in making a significant life decision. A capable and confident individual, she found herself overwhelmed and confused in the process. Using a simple 2-step tool she was able to both make a positive decision and to take steps towards it. She finished this week in an entirely different place from where she started it, and she is literally jumping for joy! Sound too good to be true? It’s actually really simple…
If you find yourself in a quandary about how to best move forward or wondering which option to choose you are not alone. Decision-making can be exhausting!
Decision-making feels particularly overwhelming when we confuse our actual decision, (our what?), with our possible next steps, (our how?). If you’ve ever made a pro and con list to help you make up your mind, most likely, the items on your list are much more focused on your ‘how’ than your ‘what’. But there is a big difference between what we desire and how we might achieve it. And this is where it’s easy to get stuck.
The simple trick to decision-making is to consciously separate what you desire from your possible actions. To do this we need to start with what we want.
Step 1 - Ask yourself what is it you desire. Do I want to change my job? Do I want to begin some study? Do I want to join a gym? Yes or no? Don’t be tempted to start mentally brainstorming all the possible options or objections to either response. Identify what is it that you want. Take some time to get really clear about this. Allow yourself to focus on your desire, no ‘buts’ or ‘what ifs’ are allowed in this part of the process. Most of us know intuitively what we desire if we take some time to listen to ourselves. At the end of this step, you will have a simple one-word answer - a yes or a no, and that’s all. My clients often comment on how relieved they feel at this point in the process as their mental confusion is replaced by a calm certainty about what they want. The weight of decision-making can be very heavy, especially if you’ve been back and forth in your own head about it for a while.
Step 2 - Now that you have made your decision, you can consider how you might move forward. This is where you get to focus on the how and create an action plan. If you have decided ‘Yes I want to apply for a new job’, you can now create a clear path in front of you. Literally, make a list - this might include updating your CV, reaching out to contacts, setting up meetings etc. Ensure each item on your list is time-bound. You’ve done the hard part and made your decision, now is the time to take action.
Don’t be discouraged if your circumstances don’t support what you desire right now. You can honour the decision you have made and can still move on to creating your action plan, knowing that when the timing is right for you, you will be able to move forward purposely.
If you find yourself stuck in decision paralysis, replaying the same conversations with yourself and others, but not making any progress, I encourage you to play with this decision-making tool. It starts with one simple question…“What do I want?”