More than a middle part…

As the mother of teenage children, I've developed a fairly thick skin. My husband and I are regularly on the receiving end of their ‘constructive’ feedback — everything from our sneaker choices to our slang and music preferences is up for critique. Most of the time, their unsolicited advice goes in one ear and out the other. But recently, one comment stuck with me.

A couple of weeks ago, my youngest looked at me with absolute horror and said, “I can’t believe you don’t have a middle part!”

She was referring, of course, to my long-established side part — the natural place my hair has always parted. The comment was delivered with such dramatic flair and visible disgust, complete with head shaking, that my husband, who was within earshot in the next room, burst out laughing. Within moments, we were both doubled over, tears in our eyes, caught somewhere between amusement and disbelief.

Her words lingered — not because I was seriously contemplating a new hairstyle, but because of the message tucked inside her comment.

A few days later, I picked up her class photo and couldn’t help but smile. Every single girl in the picture wore the exact same hairstyle: the middle part. A sea of symmetry and trend-following.

Of course, I understand that for her age group, blending in is part of the journey. It’s developmentally appropriate to want to fit the mould — to match the ‘right’ shoes, phrases, playlists, and hairstyles. But it made me pause and think:
How often do we, as adults, make much bigger life decisions in exactly the same way?

Following trends. Meeting expectations. Blending in without realising it.

How quickly do our own choices stop being our own?

And when did we start outsourcing our decisions — our voice, our values, our direction — to what’s currently acceptable, admired, or applauded?

It’s easy to let other people’s voices become the loudest in our lives — to drift into a version of life that looks 'right' on the outside but doesn’t feel like you on the inside.

So here’s your gentle reminder:

You’re allowed to choose for yourself.
Not just what you wear, but how you live.
Not just how you look, but who you’re becoming.
If it doesn’t feel like you, it probably isn’t.
Your values, your voice, your vision — they’re yours.
Not borrowed. Not trend-driven. Not up for approval.
And they are more than enough.
(With or without a middle part 😄)

kellycoopercoaching.com

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Stuck in the Messy Middle?